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他们对世界充满热爱而世界也回报他们很多爱

 

 

  We’ve all watched them, in wonder: the happy-go-skippy social butterflies who are on everyone's must-invite guest list. They love the world and the world loves them back. What's their terrible secret?


  我们都见过这样一些让人惊叹的家伙:他们是嗨爆全场的交际达人,是所有party的座上客。他们对世界充满热爱,而世界也回报他们很多爱。那么他们的社交秘诀是什么呢?


  Bust a Mood 掩饰不良情绪


  To have fun, you've got to be fun. Sure, sometimes we are just not "in the mood" to be social, but I know you know how to fake it. And here's the weird part: Scientific research proves that putting a smile on your face will actually conjure the desire to feel like smiling. (And we know that smiling, like yawning, is contagious, so do it。)


  要想出去找乐趣,你必须是一个有乐趣的人。当然,有时候你没什么心情忙于社交,但我想你肯定知道该怎么掩饰自己的心情。科学研究有一个奇怪的发现:你强行挤出的笑脸真的会让你产生想要微笑的渴望。(我们都知道,微笑啊打哈欠啊什么的是会传染的,所以就算是挤也挤出一个微笑来吧。)


  Introduce Yourself 介绍你自己或者解开了一个你正在苦苦思索的世界难题。


  Create a Memory 打造一段回忆


  Do you have "blank canvas" jitters when walking into a party? So hide behind a camera. Taking snapshots is one of the quickest icebreakers in a social situation. And the cool part is distributing your catch later. Photos are the most cherished heirlooms, and with digital photography, you've got a billion chances to get the most amazing shot. The key is to avoid being a nudge, constantly telling everyone to "get together." Just hold the camera above the crowd and snap wildly, randomly, intensely—the fun is seeing what you get when you upload the shots。


  刚刚走进一场party时你是不是会觉得大脑一片空白?那就躲到镜头后面去吧。给他人拍照是社交场合打破紧张气氛最快的方法之一。向别人派发你拍的照片多酷呀。照片是最值得珍藏的宝贝,而且有了数码摄影技术,你可以进行无数次尝试来获取一张最惊艳的照片。想要拍出好照片,秘密在于千万别唠叨个没完,让大家“靠拢一点”。你只需要对着人群举起相机,带着热情,随心随机拍摄就好。当你看到自己上传的照片时,就是拍照真正的乐趣。


  Rock Your Specialty 秀出你的专长


  Claim ownership of a "specialty" you love to whip up and keep the ingredients on hand. Whether it's after the kids' baseball game or the place for the late-late, after-after party, make your address the crew's place to be (last-minute guests always welcome)。


  保持一项你热爱的专长,而且反复练习。不管你是在一场儿童棒球赛结束后压轴出场,还是在一场深夜party上闪亮登场,想办法在大伙儿都在的时候秀出你的专长(压轴出场的来宾总是受欢迎的)。


  Sometimes Be an Ear, Not a Mouth 学会倾听


  I know, we love the sound of our own voices, but once in a while, one of our friends will really need us just to listen. Sometimes the conversation might be a lot of give and take, advice and speculation, soul-searching and puzzle-solving, but sometimes you just need to be a giant ear for an hour。


  我知道,大家都喜欢发出自己的声音,但是有时候我们的朋友更希望我们能够倾听。有时候我们的对话是为了交换意见,提出建议和思考,为了解决难题而深思熟虑,但有时候你只需要暂时扮演一只大耳朵。


  Share the Wealth 学会分享


  No, not things that cost a ton of dough. I mean, give the things that cost you very little but are of massive value to others. Starting with compliments, all the way up to giving your time to your community. You'll feel like part of something bigger, something wonderfully social。


  不是说让你掏空荷包。我是指分享一些花不了你多少钱却对他人意义重大的东西。可以从赞美之词开始,为你身边的人多花一些时间。你会逐渐想要分享一些更有社交价值的东西。


  Know How to Play 知道该如何玩乐


  As in, play a social game for fun, leave obligations behind and have a ball! When I was a kid, my parents told me to pick an instrument and pick a sport. It wasn't about learning how to win or lose or building college application activities, it was about getting me involved in the world, involved with people, building social experiences, building relationships。


  当你投入到一场社交活动寻找乐趣时,就把那些未完成的任务抛在脑后尽情享受把!我小的时候,我的父母让我学习一种乐器和一项体育运动。这并不是为了让我学会如何去取胜如何去面对失败,也不是为了申请大学增添砝码,而是为了让我更好的融入这个世界,融入周围的人,累积社会经验,建立人际关系。


  Join the (Digital) Mainstream 加入(数字的)主流


  Some of us are addicted to Twit-book, and we know who we are. For those on the opposite side of the aisle, those who live in perpetual fear and suspicion of socializing on the interwebs, I'm here to say: Relax. Once upon a time, it may have been cool to resist the three-times-a-day invitations to join. Facebook and other social media won't replace actual, live, in-flesh human interaction. In fact, they can enhance your offline social life because nowadays that's how a lot of people are sharing important information. If you're shunning Facebook because you think it will kill your social life, you may be killing your social life。


  有的人是微博控,你懂的。也有人刚好相反,他们对网络社交充满恐惧和怀疑。我想说,放轻松。从前,对社交网络满天飞的邀请视而不见是一件很酷的事情。脸谱网和其他的社交媒体不会取代真实生活中的人际互动。但事实上这些社交媒体会让你的线下的社会生活更加丰富,因为如今许多人都通过这种方式来分享一些重要信息。如果你逃避社交媒体只是因为担心它会毁掉你的社交生活,那么这也许才真的会毁掉你的社交生活。


  Get Acquainted with a Classic 了解经典


  If you learn how to make one cocktail in this lifetime, make it a martini. It's required knowledge for a passing grade in Western Civ 101, up there in the canon-lands, along with the little black dress, a single strand of pearls and the original icons of elegant style, the Ladies Hepburn (Katharine and Audrey)。


  如果这辈子你有机会学做一杯鸡尾酒,那就做一杯马提尼吧。了解经典,指的是你有能在在西方文化课上得高分的知识,也能穿着小黑裙,戴着珍珠项链,打造成赫本(凯瑟琳和奥黛丽)那样的优雅时尚典范。


  Remember to Say Thank You 记住说谢谢


  Strap in, I'm going to write something extremely controversial here: Yes, you can thank someone with an email or a phone call. We all know traditional thank-you etiquette calls for a handwritten, snail-mail note, but I've seen it happen all too often: You keep meaning to find a nice thank-you card or choose some pretty stationery. But something comes up: a crisis, some project at work, football season. And time passes, as it does. Before long, it's too late. And then a chance encounter with the would-be, should-have-been recipient of the phantom note sends you slinking into the shadows, quivering in breathless social shame。


  注意了,下面我要说的话题极具争议:是的,你可以通过电子邮件或者电话向某人致谢。我们都知道传统的致谢礼仪要求必须是一封手写并且龟速邮寄的致谢函,但我也经常遇到下面这种情况:你一直想找一张漂亮的致谢卡片,但遇到了一些突发状况,比如一场危机、一个工作上的项目、或者足球赛季,然后致谢这件事就这么不了了之。再过了一段时间,你发现此时致谢已经太迟了。也许某一天你偶然看见了这张本该寄出的致谢卡片,于是羞愧万分,恨不得钻地缝。

 

  A sudden attack of shyness when you don't know a soul in the joint is quite possibly the most universal human experience. But walk through the door expecting to have a great time, and you will. Prep yourself for every situation by reminding yourself that something new and surprising and amazing can always happen—like falling madly in like at first sight with a new friend or simpatico business partner or finding that missing clue to some mystery of the world that you're trying to solve。


  如果你不了解聚会的精髓,有可能会突然感到非常害羞。其实大多数人都遇到过这种情况。但是如果在进入这场聚会之前默默期待自己会度过一段美好的时光,那么你就会如愿。让自己做好准备迎接各种场合,提醒自己,总会有一些新奇的、惊喜的甚至惊叹的事情发生,比如说与一位新朋友或者有趣的商业伙伴一见如故,


 




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